One of my worst fears came true this week while visiting Nashville. I was stranded at the airport hundreds of miles from home with tens of thousands of strangers experiencing the same plight. I cannot believe I gave up a warm hotel room to sit on a plane to nowhere for more than 6 hours. Did I mention I have huge control issues? So rather than think about what I could not control, I tried to focus on the positive memories of my trip.
My ADHD coupled with physical exhaustion prohibited me from getting any serious work done on the plane. My pride and the thought of airport security kept me from running up and down the aisle yelling “let me off this damn plane.”
Up until then, my trip was nearly perfect.
Up until then, my trip was nearly perfect. My friend and I took in all of Nashville’s hot spots including the Country Music Hall of Fame, The Grand Ole Opry, Studio B, Tootsie’s Orchard Lounge, Roberts Western Wear, and Blake Shelton’s Bar, Ole Red.
As the hours ticked by, I was getting more and more anxious so I decided to interview a fellow passenger for my blog. My interviewee made several jokes about our flight status saying she felt that we were trauma-bonding. In psychology terms, the situation would more accurately be described as a collective trauma.
A trauma bond is when a person forms a deep emotional attachment with someone that causes them harm. It often develops from a repeated cycle of abuse and positive reinforcement. When this occurs between partners, this is called a trauma-bonded relationship.
Events like mass shootings, war, natural disasters, community violence, etc. are considered a collective trauma.
Collective trauma is a shared psychological and emotional reaction to a catastrophic event affecting a very large number of people. People who survive a collective trauma often suffer from fear, grief, anxiety, and depression.
Psychologists agree that some situations are inherently traumatic (war, serious accidents, witnessing a suicide, etc) while other situations, like being stuck on a plane, may be traumatic to one person, and not to another.
I eventually made it home safely and have put the “nightmare” behind me. Despite it all, I am still planning a trip to Vancouver in August where I will need to board a plane.
Written by Candace Schoner. Candace is a freelance writer, mental health advocate, and the Producer/Host of the podcast Speaking Candidly with Candace