I turned 65 last year and have Parkinson’s yet I still find it nearly impossible to slow down. The relentless urge to stay busy and productive has fueled my success as an entrepreneur and business owner, but it also raises a persistent question: Will I ever truly be able to stop working? If this resonates with you, know that you’re not alone.
Why Is Slowing Down So Difficult?
The struggle to slow down, achieve more, and avoid stillness is real. It can stem from a mix of psychological, developmental, and neurobiological factors, including childhood experiences and conditions like ADHD.
One reason most people can’t slow down is the deep association between productivity and self-worth. For some, being busy is a way to feel competent, capable, or even perfect in the eyes of others. Slowing down can trigger uncomfortable feelings of inadequacy, shame, guilt, or loneliness
Early family roles can reinforce this cycle. For instance, being the responsible child or caretaker can lead to a lifelong belief that slowing down is unacceptable. While effort, action, and accomplishments are endorsed, creating a tendency to equate self-worth with constant achievement.
These formative experiences can lay the groundwork for persistent patterns of anxiety, overachievement, and difficulty in resting. Breaking the cycle requires self-awareness, therapy, and supportive environments to encourage a healthy balance between work and rest.
ADHD and the Challenge of Slowing Down
It is not surprising that ADHD can contribute to the urge to stay constantly active. High achievers with ADHD often mask their struggles with impressive output, but the relentless drive often leads to burnout and neglect of self-care. While ADHD is commonly linked to distractibility and impulsivity, it can make it challenging to rest or unwind. As an adult with ADHD, I often struggle to put on the brakes, especially when it comes to working and household chores.
The Obsession With Success and Overachievement
Society often celebrates overachievement, unintentionally fueling a culture that overlooks self-care and fosters imposter syndrome and perfectionism. For many, this relentless drive for success serves as a defense mechanism—an attempt to outrun deeper insecurities or unresolved emotional pain.
Breaking the need to constantly achieve requires:
• Recognizing and challenging the belief that self-worth depends on productivity.
• Practicing self-affirmation and celebrating progress, not just outcomes.
• Setting realistic goals and building in rest as a non-negotiable part of life.
• Embracing a growth mindset to value effort and learning, not just success.
Slowing down isn’t a weakness—it’s a powerful choice that’s essential for both well-being and lasting success. When we understand the roots behind our drive and make intentional changes, we open the door to deeper fulfillment beyond the constant chase for achievement.
If you’ve faced the challenges of overachievement or found effective ways to slow down, I invite you to share your insights in the comments. Your experience could help someone else.
Written by Candace Schoner, Host and Producer of Voices for Mental Health, Inc. Listen to Voices for Mental Health podcast on most streaming channels.