After 66 years around the sun, I’ve learned a few things about peace and happiness. One of the biggest lessons is that money doesn’t buy either one.
Sadly, we spend so much of our lives chasing the idea that more money, more things, more success, will finally make us feel whole. Yet life has a quiet way of reminding us that happiness isn’t guaranteed..
Often times, we are told to think back to the happiest moments of our childhood: riding bikes until dark, enjoying ice cream on a hot summer day, or splashing through puddles in the rain without a care in the world. This is the secret to happiness. But the truth is, not everyone had a joyful or safe childhood.
For some, childhood was marked by instability, trauma, neglect, or simply the absence of feeling seen and protected. When we talk about “finding your inner child,” it can feel confusing or even painful.
Dr. Gabor Maté, a physician and trauma expert, recognizes this and explains:
“Trauma is not what happens to you, but what happens inside you as a result of what happened to you.”
For those who didn’t experience carefree joy early in life, reconnecting with an inner child doesn’t mean reliving the past—it means creating what was missing.
Research in neuroscience and trauma-informed psychology shows that the brain remains capable of change throughout life. This is known as neuroplasticity. We can learn new ways to feel safe, playful, connected, and present, even if we never learned these skills as children.
Psychologist Dr. Nicole LePera notes:
“Reparenting yourself means giving yourself what you didn’t receive but always deserved–safety, validation, and compassion.”
For some of us, joy isn’t something we remember. It’s something we discover for the first time.
Positive psychology researcher Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky reminds us:
“Happiness is not something you postpone for the future; it is something you design for the present.”
Finding your inner child doesn’t mean pretending the pain never existed. It means honoring your story while choosing to create new experiences of safety, wonder, and joy.
For those who did have joyful moments as children, this reflection is an invitation to remember. For those who didn’t, it’s permission to begin now!
Psychology professionals agree that peace doesn’t come from what we accumulate. It comes from being present and living in the moment.
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